full circle....

i would love to replay the moments of last night over and over again.
the minutes as we wait patiently for our oldest to graduate from this school we've loved so much -
rgs is truly a special place.
i brought a box of tissues 
expecting that as the slideshow played i'd tear up watching how much our babies have grown -
thankfully it was alphabetical so by the 'd's' i had used up my tears.
mrs. lucas takes the stage and begins the ceremony
with twelve specially chosen awards to be presented.
i get comfortable and admire my daughter,  proud of who she has become.
the first award is for 'most improved' and i hear zoe's name called
yes, i'm proud but really didn't think much of it.
then i hear her name called again
 a character award where she was chosen by her classroom peers - wow!
again, 'excellence in music'- i'm thinking to myself, really?  who knew?
then comes the principal's award
i hear her name again and see
zoe walk onto the stage
 my eyes begin to water
as quoted from courage, a book presented to her 
there is a term i use to describe you, 'old soul'.  you have the kindness, wisdom, intelligence, and compassion of a wise woman rocking in her chair.  i know your future is bright.  i know i will cross paths with you again.  mrs. lucas"
i am beaming with pride
lastly i hear my girls name called once again 
this time for an award that shows just what her moral compass is

 i look over at craig and he too has tears in his eyes
it's at this defining moment 
when all our self doubts as parents are washed away
we look at each other and know that for all the things we do wrong in our lives
the bad decisions that have caused us to struggle
that the one thing we are doing right
is the most important thing
and that's raising our children 
 with the strongest of convictions, morals and values
that our goodness as people 
and always doing what's right 
truly does come full circle
as attested to by our daughter who has made us so very, very proud.


here we are on the way
to celebrate 
gg's 99th birthday

here she is in her beautiful red dress


cake is good

we got to drive home in this

what a great day 
it's times like this that remind you
that family is everything 
and simple moments are the most precious
love ya!


stella's sunset

happy birthday to nonny, happy birthday to nonny, happy birthday to nonnnnnn-neeeeeeee, happy birthday to you!
i love you bean!!!


dear daughter,

dear daughter,

i felt sad today when i dropped  you off at school.  i could feel your discomfort, your uneasiness of not knowing where to go, of wanting to hide.  i want you to know that i remember feeling the same way when i was your age.  i was in between friends- feeling like nobody liked me- that everyone was staring at me- uncomfortable in my own skin- i felt like i didn't fit in.  it seems so long ago yet, i see myself in you and i can feel those same feelings all over again and i realize that it's happening to you now.  i want to protect you.  shield you from those stares (that by the way aren't there but they sure feel like they are, i know they do!).  i want so badly for all the hurt and discomfort you feel to soak into my body so that i can carry this burden for you.  i can't or i would in a second.  what i can do is tell you your time to shine will come and when it does your magic will be revealed.

i read this today quite coincidentally and the words were as if i had spoken them myself so i will quote, but know they are the same thoughts that filled my mind as i drove home after dropping you off.  "one day, you'll get out of school and go somewhere besides this small town we're in and you're going to discover that there are groups of people just like you- not that they do what you do or act the way you act, but that they refused to change who they are to fit in , and that makes them like you.  and when you find them, you're going to feel at home."

most likely you will leave your childhood friends behind because you no longer have much in common with any of them.  you my girl are a different kind of kid.  you have a deep, beautiful soul and are older and wiser than your young years.  this is a gift you've been given- i believe it runs in the family :)   use this gift of yours and it will ground you.  it will attract the right kind of friendships- people will gravitate towards you because you are real.  continue to hold your head high even when you feel weak...take comfort in the sun, breathe the clean air and remember that this time in your life is fleeting.  there are many, many years ahead of you and that is exciting!  it's good to dream so dream about travels to India or where ever you may want to go.  

i am your mother but i am also a daughter and once a young girl...we have a lot in common you and i.  my arms are always open, my ears work perfectly and my many years of being a girl have garnered me 'girl wisdom'...i love you with all my heart.



just a taste...

lightroom here i come
once i get past all the crazy $h77777 i have to learn
i may actually fall in love with it!
here's my first shot edited like a big girl
i have a lot to learn...
bring it!



meeting of the minds

nov 4th was my last post
how did blogher let me get away with that?  ;)
messed with our computer and now
i can't upload any
of my photos to my computer
which makes me an irrational person,
unbearable to be around,
seething with the opposite of happy, happy!
i've avoided my camera and my blog like the plague.
on top of all that
i will now be forced to try lightroom again
because my beloved, so easy to use picnik is closing up shop :(
i guess i need to be a big girl about it but i don't want to...
i hate change!
not good with change!
i'll try not to let too much time pass before the next post, eh?  ;)


ho hummmm.....

this is what's doin' around here today
miss sicky-mcsicker napping with her buddy on the couch
and mr i.am.in.lurve.with.you napping on my bed
wish i could freakin' relax!
(i don't think i know how)
the end



allow me to translate:
zoe ~ albert einstein
stella ~ a horse that kept falling asleep (i don't know where the head is)
ruby ~ ummmmm, a ghost?  (ruby was happy she didn't have to 'be seen' in any pictures)
they had fun
they got a ton of loot
nobody froze
we were done in an hour and a half
i ate junior mints
the end.


if you give a baby dinosaur a cheerrio...

if you give a baby dinosaur a cheerrio
chances are he'll go to great lengths to get another one.
he'll push the chairs out from the kitchen table-
which will remind him
 how you were sitting there this morning eating something tasty in a bowl
 and how you so sweetly gave him just one to taste-
he'll look around and won't know you're watching
because if you're watching you won't be paying attention to the dishes you're doing
and if you're not paying attention to the dishes you are doing
chances are he could casually make his way up without you noticing.
and if you didn't notice then 
just maybe 
he could get said cheerrio
that's been left
and when he gets said cheerrio
it'll remind him that 
it was you who gave him that tasty bite this morning
and that's when he'll realize
he's on top of the kitchen table
while you're watching-
if you give a baby dinosaur a cheerrio 
chances are 
he'll do what he has to do to get another one-
getting caught be damned ;0

*based loosely on the if you give a mouse a cookie book


clowning around...

dogs:  have been bolting every time they see a squirrel...for the second day in a row they broke free from me when i was walking them and they were gone for a good hour.  when they finally showed up they smelled horrific!  i tried to get the bad boys into the tub to no avail.  they've been on lock-down since.  dad will have to wash them when he gets home (he'll be psyched).  despite my best efforts my house smells like a barn.
ruby:  i got home a little early from work last night and was able to see the girls before they went to sleep.       ruby said : 'mom, the kids asked me why i had to stay back in second grade' me: 'yeah?  what did you tell them?'  ruby:  'that my mom said it was the perfect place for me'  me:  'that's a great answer ruby!  do you feel like it's the perfect place for you?'  ruby:  'yes but can i skip third grade' :)